playing catch with my son 2006.11.01
Posted by Hakuna in addictions, christian, hope, ohana ("family"), sports.3 comments
this fall, i’ve been co-coaching my son’s t-ball team comprised of four, five and six year olds. i wish i could say that it has been nothing but sheer joy to help nurture the physical and character development of these young boys, but in truth, i cannot. the only part that i have really enjoyed so far is getting to watch kaeden grow and thrive.
i’m discovering that kaeden is actually quite coordinated and easily the best player on his team if not the league! (i wish you could see the prideful grin on my face and oh, if you’re one of the parents of the other kids in the league, my apologies.)
let me clarify: it’s not that these kids are particularly uncoordinated and athletically challenged. most four year olds and many five year olds are simply not developmentally ready to learn t-ball or any team sport for that matter. so, the majority of my “coaching” this season can be accurately described by my having to simply say,
stop playing with the dirt and keep your eyes on the ball!
about 10,002 times each game & practice. alas, it is an exercise in futility because many of the boys continue to be more intrigued by the dirt in the infield than the little white ball that the game is actually centered around.
that being said, as i watched kaeden throw, catch and hit the ball last week, it reminded me of an experience i had with him 3 years ago.
the chicago cubs were in the 2003 major league baseball play-offs for the first time in years and they were actually doing extremely well. (you may recall this because it only happens about once every quarter century — they’ve only had one back-to-back winning season since 1971-72.)
anyway, as kaeden (3-1/2 years old at the time) and i sat there one evening watching the cubies out-perform their post-season opponent, he went and got a ball and we started to play catch in between innings. he was a quick study (to my delight) but many of the balls he threw somehow flew backward landing behind him instead of flying forward toward me. catching the ball proved to be even more challenging for him, but he was trying very hard and occasionally, he would catch it — more from the accuracy of my throw than his dexterity though.
that night, regardless of whether he threw or caught the ball very well, i’d give him a high-five and praise him effusively for every attempt. the cubs won that night, but the deeper joy i experienced that evening was from the interaction i had with my most precious son.
that next morning, i had to get up early because i was leading a weekly sexual addictions support group for men at our church. a young man, let’s call him “sam” for convenience here, was downcast in spirit because he had failed in his area of addiction for the umpteenth time. as i silently asked god for wisdom in how to comfort “sam”, the lord gave me a flashback to my prior evenings interaction with kaeden. after describing that evening to him and the rest of the group, this is what i said,
of course god takes sin very seriously. so seriously, in fact, that jesus was willing to sacrifice himself for us! but god is also our father and as our father, he loves us and sees us as his most precious children.
i am not patient by nature, but last night, i was able to celebrate and cheer kaeden’s every attempt at throwing and catching the ball regardless of his level of success. why? because i knew that one day in the not-so-distant future when he turns eleven or twelve years of age, he will be throwing that ball right at me with speed and acuracy 19 out of 20 times and that his catching the ball will seem automatic.
if i had screamed, ‘what the hell are you doing kaeden? i showed you step-by-step how to throw and catch the ball just a few seconds ago! why can’t you just do what i said?’ at him, he would have either fallen to the ground weeping or stomped off angry. either way, i would have wounded his soul and he would have had little if any desire to re-engage with the activity of learning to play baseball in the future.
again, i know that god takes sin seriously, but could it also be that because he knows that we are growing into perfection, he patiently cheers us on every time we fail?
before becoming a father, i saw god as a frowning judge who was more often disappointed by my performance than pleased by my existence. this is how “sam” was seeing the lord that morning. i now know this is completely false! a deeper understanding of god’s word and my experience as a dad have shown me that god our father is always cheering us on and encouraging us to continue on the path of growth. he knows what we are becoming and therefore sees us ever so clearly as we are and as we will be.
kaeden is still only six years old but he’s already looking more and more like that eleven or twelve year old playing baseball that i imagined that autumn night just three years ago.
(unfortunately, the chicago cubs didn’t go on to win the league pennant that year! even god my have lost hope and patience with them by now.)
is god colorblind? (part one) 2006.10.03
Posted by Hakuna in christian, ethnicity & culture, racism.1 comment so far
there’s an interesting article in the new york times today entitled, “a racial rift that isn’t black and white” (free-registration required). it’s about two ministers – one latino and one african american – in the south who have a strong friendship in the midst significant tensions between their respective ethnic communities.
The Revs. Atanacio Gaona, left, and Harvey Williams Jr. in Willacoochee, Ga., where the two men each have a church. They have forged a friendship that transcends the divide between Hispanics and blacks.
it’s a hopeful article (which in the news nowadays is difficult to find), but i found one comment that rev. gaona, the latino pastor, makes very disturbing. what he said was said with the best of intentions and i have heard many christians say exactly this kind of thing over the years. in the article, while describing the close nature of his relationship with pastor williams, rev. gaona is quoted as saying,
In the eyes of the Lord, there are no colors.
nothing could be further from the truth rev. gaona! scripture clearly supports the very opposite notion: ethnicity, culture and language are eternal.
in the book of revelations, the apostle john describes his vision of heaven and the end times. in chapter 7, he paints a picture of god’s heavenly throne room and there, he says in verse 9,
After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands.
so, here’s the scene: john is bearing witness to the last act in the drama of human redemptive history. there’s an immense assemblage before god’s heavenly throne and although all are clothed in white, john “sees” people from every nation (ethnos) and tribe. he also “hears” a multitude of languages being used to worship the lord god almighty.
there’s a lot about life in heaven that scripture is silent on and until we get there, we are left to ponder, speculate and imagine about the rest. one of the preciously few things that god has made absolutely clear to us about the kingdom of heaven is that it is thoroughly multi-ethnic and multi-lingual. ethnicity, culture and language are apparently so precious to god that he has deemed them to be eternal aspects of our personal and communal identities. in essence, they are a fundamental part of our souls.
the “eyes of the lord” are not color-blind! furthermore, those who perpetuate the idea that unity depends on our ability to either tolerate or ignore difference do greater harm than they realize. it is a crime against both heaven and earth.
understanding shalom 2006.10.02
Posted by Hakuna in christian, globalization, justice.add a comment
shalom: the bible’s word for salvation, justice and peace is one of texts that the think-tank i mentioned in my last post studied and it’s author, dr. perry b. yoder was one of our special instructors/advisors. this is an excellent book and i highly recommend it. (plus it’s short and inexpensive!)
if you need anymore convincing: a few years ago, we invited dr. dallas willard to come and teach at one of our week-long training events. i gave him a copy of this book and asked him for his feedback because it was helping to shape significant parts of our organization. he graciously read the book that week and said that it was a “great book”.
he elaborated further by saying that dr. yoder’s book filled a vacuum in our evangelical understanding of the life of faith. however, shalom should not be confused as the “goal” of our lives as people of faith. shalom is the “fruit” of the kingdom of god and we are to partner with god in the work of establishing his kingdom’s reign and authority here on earth. shalom in the earth will be the natural state of god’s established kingdom.
globalization & shalom broken 2006.10.02
Posted by Hakuna in christian, globalization, justice.add a comment
a number of years ago, i was privileged to be a part of a think-tank that invested a significant amount of time and money into the study and development of shalom theology. we studied both the biblical/hebrew definition of shalom as well as its practical implications for our world today.
shalom or salaam (arabic) to my great surprise did not simply mean “peace”. biblically, it means much more than that. the word embodies the conecpts of justice, peace, righteousness and prosperity or in other words, holistic well-being. the think-tank discovered that in the english version of the old testament, numerous words such as “well”, “happy”, “friendly”, “welfare”, and “health” have been translated from the hebrew word shalom. most often, shalom is used in a communal sense as well; we in the west tend to think exclusively in individualistic terms.
a beautiful description of shalom that i have seen in the bible is,
love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other. (pslam 85:10)
one of the pracitical implications of the brokenness of shalom that we looked at was globalization. globalization has greatly served the developed countries of the world by creating new markets and trade partners for our goods (everything from big macs to hollywood movies) as well as cheap labor (from sweatshops producing trendy clothing and athletic shoes to customer service/technical support for major telecommunications companies). it has done little to truly benefit the majority 2/3 world though. (i confess that this is an overly simplistic assessment because there have been tremendous gains from globalization as well – medicine and technology have greatly benefited many in the world.)
the article from the new york times that i want to highlight below ends with this,
africa has long been a dumping ground for all sorts of things the developed world has no use for. ‘this is the underbelly of globalization’
the excerpt below reminded me of how broken shalom is on the earth. it also caused me to wonder how much of our lives in the developed world come at the expense of the world’s poor. i don’t think there are any easy answers to that question, but the question should definitely be asked and not ignored.
from everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. (luke 12:48b)
October 2, 2006
Global Sludge Ends in Tragedy for Ivory Coast
By LYDIA POLGREEN and MARLISE SIMONSABIDJAN, Ivory Coast, Sept. 28 — It was his infant son’s cries, gasping and insistent, that first woke Salif Oudrawogol one night last month. The smell hit him moments later, wafting into the family’s hut, a noxious mélange reminiscent of rotten eggs, garlic and petroleum.
Mr. Oudrawogol went outside to investigate. Beside the family’s compound, near his manioc and corn fields, he saw a stinking slick of black sludge.
“The smell was so bad we were afraid,” Mr. Oudrawogol said. “It burned our noses and eyes.”
Over the next few days, the skin of his 6-month-old son, Salam, bloomed with blisters, which burst into weeping sores all over his body. The whole family suffered headaches, nosebleeds and stomach aches.
How that slick, a highly toxic cocktail of petrochemical waste and caustic soda, ended up in Mr. Oudrawogol’s backyard in a suburb north of Abidjan is a dark tale of globalization. It came from a Greek-owned tanker flying a Panamanian flag and leased by the London branch of a Swiss trading corporation whose fiscal headquarters are in the Netherlands. Safe disposal in Europe would have cost about $300,000, or perhaps twice that, counting the cost of delays. But because of decisions and actions made not only here but also in Europe, it was dumped on the doorstep of some of the world’s poorest people.
So far eight people have died, dozens have been hospitalized and 85,000 have sought medical attention, paralyzing the fragile health care system in a country divided and impoverished by civil war… (for more on this article, please go to the New York Times (registration required))
don’t wait till marriage! 2006.12.02
Posted by Hakuna in christian, friendship, marriage, ohana ("family"), social commentary.2 comments
there was a very interesting op-ed piece in the new york times a few weeks ago, but before i share some of my thoughts related to it, allow me to state unequivocally at the beginning that i have been married to an amazing woman for over 16 years now! (the photo of us to the right is from our first year of marriage in 1991.)
amy is certainly more than i than i deserve — both in character and beauty. i don’t want anything that follows to cause anyone (especially her if she reads this) to doubt my love and commitment to her or the joy that can be found in the institution of marriage. that being clearly and said, i will continue.
marriage is not and was never meant to be one’s sole source of relational intimacy. (please note that i did not say “physical intimacy”! marriage is a holy covenant that one makes to another and i do not believe it leaves any room for sexual infidelity.) in many places around the world but especially in north america, marriage is viewed as the single relationship in life that opens the possibility for one’s total happiness and satisfaction. to not be married in our culture means that there is something wrong with you and that you have absolutely no chance at having a full life.
marriage is not relational nirvana but this is exactly what our culture tells us it is! this warped view of relational intimacy has significantly contributed to what can only be described as an epidemic of loneliness in our society and world. professor stephanie coontz, author of “marriage, a history: how love conquered marriage,” in her ny times editorial writes, (bold added)
before amy and i married, we discussed the nature marriage and of friendship and committed to one another that we would make our marriage one that empowered us to be better friends to others. we had witnessed so many newly wedded couples “disappear” from the lives of their friends and we did not want that to happen to us. we wanted our marriage to be a place were we would receive greater relational energy because of our marriage. marriage should increase our respective capacities to be a blessing to those around us — by god’s grace, we trust this has been the case.
in closing, i have many friends who are single. delving into the broad dynamics of singleness is beyond my purpose in this post, but if you are single and reading this entry, don’t wait for marriage to provide you with deeply satisfying relational intimacy! relational intimacy is not something to be saved for marriage. invest every resource you have into deepening your current friendships and create new ones with those you are drawn to today. don’t wait for the initiative of others! take risks of relational rejection and initiate, initiate, initiate.