reality check

this fall, i’ve been co-coaching my son’s t-ball team comprised of four, five and six year olds. i wish i could say that it has been nothing but sheer joy to help nurture the physical and character development of these young boys, but in truth, i cannot. the only part that i have really enjoyed so far is getting to watch kaeden grow and thrive.

i’m discovering that kaeden is actually quite coordinated and easily the best player on his team if not the league! (i wish you could see the prideful grin on my face and oh, if you’re one of the parents of the other kids in the league, my apologies.)

let me clarify: it’s not that these kids are particularly uncoordinated and athletically challenged. most four year olds and many five year olds are simply not developmentally ready to learn t-ball or any team sport for that matter. so, the majority of my “coaching” this season can be accurately described by my having to simply say,

stop playing with the dirt and keep your eyes on the ball!

about 10,002 times each game & practice. alas, it is an exercise in futility because many of the boys continue to be more intrigued by the dirt in the infield than the little white ball that the game is actually centered around.

that being said, as i watched kaeden throw, catch and hit the ball last week, it reminded me of an experience i had with him 3 years ago.

the chicago cubs were in the 2003 major league baseball play-offs for the first time in years and they were actually doing extremely well. (you may recall this because it only happens about once every quarter century — they’ve only had one back-to-back winning season since 1971-72.)

anyway, as kaeden (3-1/2 years old at the time) and i sat there one evening watching the cubies out-perform their post-season opponent, he went and got a ball and we started to play catch in between innings. he was a quick study (to my delight) but many of the balls he threw somehow flew backward landing behind him instead of flying forward toward me. catching the ball proved to be even more challenging for him, but he was trying very hard and occasionally, he would catch it — more from the accuracy of my throw than his dexterity though.

that night, regardless of whether he threw or caught the ball very well, i’d give him a high-five and praise him effusively for every attempt. the cubs won that night, but the deeper joy i experienced that evening was from the interaction i had with my most precious son.

that next morning, i had to get up early because i was leading a weekly sexual addictions support group for men at our church. a young man, let’s call him “sam” for convenience here, was downcast in spirit because he had failed in his area of addiction for the umpteenth time. as i silently asked god for wisdom in how to comfort “sam”, the lord gave me a flashback to my prior evenings interaction with kaeden. after describing that evening to him and the rest of the group, this is what i said,

of course god takes sin very seriously. so seriously, in fact, that jesus was willing to sacrifice himself for us! but god is also our father and as our father, he loves us and sees us as his most precious children.

i am not patient by nature, but last night, i was able to celebrate and cheer kaeden’s every attempt at throwing and catching the ball regardless of his level of success. why? because i knew that one day in the not-so-distant future when he turns eleven or twelve years of age, he will be throwing that ball right at me with speed and acuracy 19 out of 20 times and that his catching the ball will seem automatic.

if i had screamed, ‘what the hell are you doing kaeden? i showed you step-by-step how to throw and catch the ball just a few seconds ago! why can’t you just do what i said?’ at him, he would have either fallen to the ground weeping or stomped off angry. either way, i would have wounded his soul and he would have had little if any desire to re-engage with the activity of learning to play baseball in the future.

again, i know that god takes sin seriously, but could it also be that because he knows that we are growing into perfection, he patiently cheers us on every time we fail?

before becoming a father, i saw god as a frowning judge who was more often disappointed by my performance than pleased by my existence. this is how “sam” was seeing the lord that morning. i now know this is completely false! a deeper understanding of god’s word and my experience as a dad have shown me that god our father is always cheering us on and encouraging us to continue on the path of growth. he knows what we are becoming and therefore sees us ever so clearly as we are and as we will be.

kaeden is still only six years old but he’s already looking more and more like that eleven or twelve year old playing baseball that i imagined that autumn night just three years ago.

(unfortunately, the chicago cubs didn’t go on to win the league pennant that year! even god my have lost hope and patience with them by now.)